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My friend Neil and his wife are regulars at BodyHoliday on St Lucia's north coast. Or, at least, they were until their little girl arrived - because this family-owned resort of nearly 40 years standing is strictly adults-only in peak season.
'Any suggestions about things to do locally?' I asked Neil.
'Not really,' he said. 'In all the years we've been going, I think we only left the place once.'
Each to his own. But I can't fathom how the likes of Neil aren't compelled to see what's out there beyond the gates.
Perhaps it has something to do with the years I spent incarcerated in boarding school and longed to roam more freely in the big, bad world.
Actually, the boarding school analogy works at BodyHoliday to some degree.
There's lots to do - you can learn new sports or brush up on old ones and there's a good chance you might make some chums, too.
Mind you, the food is far removed from boarding school fare, with several restaurants, including a pan-Asian one called Tao (bookings recommended) and Cariblue Windows (bookings essential).
There are various categories of rooms, including some exclusively for those on their own. Which strikes me as a nice touch. What's more, singles don't pay a supplement - very nice touch.
Our billet looks down at the wide and inviting beach, with palm trees swaying, pelicans circling, and comes with its own plunge pool.
'Give us your body for a week and we will give back your mind,' is the mantra and it's a clever one. It tells you that ostensibly this is a health retreat, with classes (all voluntary) starting at 7.15am with 'Beach Fit' and all day until 5pm with 'sunset restorative yoga'.
But, according to the GM's welcoming letter, 'indulgence is also part of achieving a balanced holiday experience'. So, alleluia, there is no food or drink deprivation and all inclusive means beer, wines and spirits 24 hours a day.
One of the big selling points is that everyone gets one treatment for every full day of his or her stay.
Consequently, there are more than 40 therapists working in the huge spa. I had expected a few gentle strokes, using some pungent coconut oil but receive nothing of the kind. Indeed, my deep tissue massage on day one is the best ever and has me crying out for mercy half way through. No gain without pain.
With so much on offer, the atmosphere is purposeful, but I get talking to an American with an even bigger tummy than mine, who hardly moves from his sun lounger, while his wife scuttles about as if desperate to attend every class going.
'I hardly see her during the day,' he says.
'Absence makes the heart grow fonder.'
BodyHoliday is 30 minutes or so from the capital, Castries, and its Saturday market. To miss this is a dereliction of duty. All life is here, including chickens whose lives, conversely, will soon be over; shriven old men selling home-grown vegetables; rastas trading in wacky backy; baskets; potions and lotions.
Also close to BodyHoliday is Pigeon Island, reached via a causeway constructed in 1972. The main attraction is Fort Rodney, built on the instructions of Admiral George Rodney between 1779 and 1782, mainly to spy on French ships from neighbouring Martinique.
It's a steep trek up to the top platform, where a couple of rusting canons stand guard, but the panoramic views are well worth the exertion.
St Lucians are gentle, polite and enriched by a lively sense of humour.
Certainly, that's what we love about the staff at BodyHoliday. I have no doubt that this hugely popular resort has caught the eye of corporate giants - but, thank goodness, the British owners have resisted the temptation to cash in.
Long may that be the case. It might not be the most catchy of names - but BodyHoliday is homely, expertly run and a whole lot of fun.
First published in the Daily Mail - October 2024
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